been robbed at gunpoint
had my tires slashed
my car blew up on the freeway in Indy (flames and such)
had my former best friend of 15 years rob me blind
currently in a state of rebuilding
first order of business is to save for a computer
second order of business is to save for a tv and dvd player
as a side note, thrift stores are awesome for finding clothes
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
Monday, October 6, 2008
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Monday, July 14, 2008
Head in the Clouds
I have been thinking for a while on what it is I look for in a valued friend. I have made no concrete decisions on criteria, but I have found one thing that, while not a dealbreaker, rouses my anger. I hate with a seething passion the attitude so many people hold in regards to my mind's workings. Oftentimes people try to classify me, view me/my ideas with condecension, or outright veto any idea regardless of validity. When I feel someone is doing this to me, I see red. I zone in on the person, and all I can think of from a few seconds to days is how I could make them suffer unbearable amounts of pain, suffering, and loss.
I know oftentimes my thoughts don't make sense or seem invalid. I know this to be a fact. However, it is my mind my thoughts and my being. Criticize them and I see you as devaluing me. I do not include tactful, constructive criticisms in the general class of criticism. I can see where people come from and because of this I have learned to fogive some for this infraction. I still feel the hatred and desire to destroy everything they hold dear, but I quell the feeling for my friends.
I need tact and respect when dealt with or am even present. Lack thereof angers me to loss of words. I feel outright actions of open hostility purely because you just do not like someone is unforgivable, and I wish there was an eternal hell those people would suffer in after death. I do not want hellfire for them, but rather for them to relive every moment they disrespected somebody for no apparent reason than they didn't like them from the standpoint of the other person.
I know I have done so to others, and the guilt drives me mad evey day. Any opportunity I have available to atone my misconduct I do. I also attempt to atone for the misconduct for my friends, because I now they will never change. I don't expect them to, but I shant have another person suffer because one of my friends was acting like an insensitive prick. I have an abundance of insensitive pricks for friends. As stated before, I don't expect them to change, but I hope they do all the same.
The disrespect my friends dole out I view in a similar vein as those who tread roughly on my mind and ideas. I may not be overt about it, but I work behind the scenes nonstop to mend the fractures. Don't get me wrong, if someone digs themselves into a hole I will let them slip and fall. I may even point out the slippery spots and encourage them to fall in. I do all this however, with an aura of tact and respect. I realize such things are merely social aesthetics, but they are of vital importance to me.
It is late. I must try and get some sleep.
I know oftentimes my thoughts don't make sense or seem invalid. I know this to be a fact. However, it is my mind my thoughts and my being. Criticize them and I see you as devaluing me. I do not include tactful, constructive criticisms in the general class of criticism. I can see where people come from and because of this I have learned to fogive some for this infraction. I still feel the hatred and desire to destroy everything they hold dear, but I quell the feeling for my friends.
I need tact and respect when dealt with or am even present. Lack thereof angers me to loss of words. I feel outright actions of open hostility purely because you just do not like someone is unforgivable, and I wish there was an eternal hell those people would suffer in after death. I do not want hellfire for them, but rather for them to relive every moment they disrespected somebody for no apparent reason than they didn't like them from the standpoint of the other person.
I know I have done so to others, and the guilt drives me mad evey day. Any opportunity I have available to atone my misconduct I do. I also attempt to atone for the misconduct for my friends, because I now they will never change. I don't expect them to, but I shant have another person suffer because one of my friends was acting like an insensitive prick. I have an abundance of insensitive pricks for friends. As stated before, I don't expect them to change, but I hope they do all the same.
The disrespect my friends dole out I view in a similar vein as those who tread roughly on my mind and ideas. I may not be overt about it, but I work behind the scenes nonstop to mend the fractures. Don't get me wrong, if someone digs themselves into a hole I will let them slip and fall. I may even point out the slippery spots and encourage them to fall in. I do all this however, with an aura of tact and respect. I realize such things are merely social aesthetics, but they are of vital importance to me.
It is late. I must try and get some sleep.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
