Isolated nonrelational auditory fuck buddy

Hm. I think the title says it all. Tried it for the first time.

No feelings of guilt yet.

Never grow old

Talon

The Talon on my face is to scratch my ass when I lick my balls.

Concrete wall spunk bell ringer

The best concrete walls are the ones with a groove running up the length. That way if you hump it, the spunk shoots up the chute. If it rings the bell, you win a prize.

Freaked out kitty

Heh.

So i was making toast, and boo was sitting in the sink, just chilling, like a cat.

Y'know, 'cause he is a cat, and stuff....anyways moving on

Toast pops. *pfoom*

Boo freaks the FUCK out. He jumps out of the sink, whirls around and hisses at the toast.

He leers at it for a bit, daring the evil toastlings to make a move.

I'm watching this from the couch, and am now laughing.

I walk over, hug boo and tell him its ok i'll punish the evil toast by coating them with butter to make them suffer.

I did so, and proceeded to devour the infidels and their acidic buttery coating.

Boo thanked me by rubbing his face on my leg and purring.

thought i'd share.

Bald Eagle

A bald eagle is majestic and stands for equality and justice.
However, if you get it angry or mess with one of its young, it will gouge your eyes out with its talons and devours your entrails leaving you to scream in agony as you lay helpless, blind and bleeding in the claws of the beast.

The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup

Leprechaun dancing in my hands i got a magnum
Blow your head off make you want to throw a tantrum
But you can't scream because your head is missin'
Boom went your tongue nose ears and vision

Tonto the insane

Your flow sucks and your rhyme lines are weak
before you freestyle you need to learn how to speak
so wrap your head around this lyrical hurricane
big man on the block its Tonto the insane

The dead do nothing

they say i'm going to hell when its all said and done with
well beetle juice, beetle juice, beetle juice....Nothing
I guess it says a lot when even the dead won't do something.

Cowboy lesbian

An old cowboy went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat sipping his whiskey a young lady sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

"Well," he replied, "I've spent my whole life on the ranch, herding horses, mending fences and branding cattle, so I guess I am."

"I'm a lesbian," she said. "I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning I think about women. When I shower I think about women. While I watch TV or even eat I think about women. Everything seems to make me think about women."

The two sat sipping in silence. A short time later a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

"I always thought I was," he replied, "but I just found out I'm a lesbian."

Random...

Here's to the randomness of the dancing happy pickle
Playing with his Star Trek Operating Manual
Dancing in the clouds with his fish in the sea
purple sun sparkling from deep within me

tattered hoodie ornaments garnish gods plate
two peas, a cd and an instant rebate
god must be starving from the diet he's on
if he keeps it like this soon he'll be gone.

Thta snot a matter for an athiest like me
skys shatter memories and illuminate three
three is the sins
three for the lies
three is the number
of people to die

are you one of them
maybe so, maybe not
better watch your back
or you might get shot.

but rejoice in the streets
for I am here to stay
for those I hate
time to celebrate
your final, quite ending days.

and so it ends with a whale in the moon
dancing in the dust whith the elves and the sprites
not the kind you're thinking but the kind in a storm
cloud hearders thunders mages devils of xorn