Bam!

So, I think it would be cool ( watch the credits of Boondock Saints and watch the last guy who talks about going to town) to have a silencer with speakers attached that goes "Bam!" in whatever dialect you choose

Valentine's Day Poem

My attempt to explain myself
With poetry as my tool
Leave me always doubting myself
and feeling like a fool

So please bear with me as I try
To offer myself upon the page
To keep quiet and not to tell
would slowly eat me away

Nothing is dull or boring
whenever you're in reach
The conversations we have
are always really neat

I've recently lost some security
and felt I've lost the road
You've stayed close by me
And ensured I didn't fold

You've got a quirky sense
Weirdness is your art
But that's what is endearing
about you in my heart

And of course when in bed
You're a comfy place for me to lay
That innuendo was pretty bad
I could not resist the word play

The little things you do and say
that others may dismiss
Are the things that define you
and truly describe you best

Things may end up greater
Equal or perhaps less than
That is why I ask of you
The one simple question

You've made quite an impact
on my life and on my mind
Today will you do me the honor
of being my Valentine?

Poems of Valentines Day inspired by opening verse of "Moment of tranquility" by Apoptygma Bezerk

The first verse is the refrain from the song. the rest is my writing.

Your eyes are staring at me
Empty as the sky
In this moment of tranquility
I realize this is goodbye

The feelings that dwell within me
I cannot put into prose
Of everything in the world
I cannot express my love

What goes around comes around
And I know I am a guy
I've come to terms with my delusion
Let me live my lie.

The chains of a broken heart
Cling to the flesh of recovery
The links mar the potential part
that would let you love me

Why must I wallow in a lie
Why do I doom my heart to die?
This sadistic narcissistic self destruction?

Why must I only think of myself
when others need the help?
I cannot win the battle
Someone help me

The love I had once is now gone
I roam the Earth truly alone
The burden I chose to carry breaks me

Your face is in my mind
Your eyes penetrating me
Your whispers linger in my dreams to haunt me

Leave me now please go
I cannot bear your gazes so
they prove my fantasy will die

I want you can't you see
You've stolen a part of me
But the wishes you desire do not include it.

Tell me I am wrong
Tell my why I don't belong
Let me clarify my demons
And I will hang them

Why must I feel this pain?
Never to be loved again
This curse is mine
My personal cross to bear

Long I've yearned to fly free
Long I've wanted you beside me
But dreams are the stuff of fools
A truth but still quite cruel

A chance is all I ask
Ability for the task
I want to tell you that I care.

Talon

The Talon on my face is to scratch my ass when I lick my balls.

Concrete wall spunk bell ringer

The best concrete walls are the ones with a groove running up the length. That way if you hump it, the spunk shoots up the chute. If it rings the bell, you win a prize.

Fire and relationships

I think i know why i am so fascinated with fire.

Fire is a visual of how i view and attempt to handle relationships.

A fire gives a glow and warmth to those close to it. Close to a fire, everything seems ok. It warms the soul and body and is needed for survival.

With fire, everything is recipricol.

Once kindled, if I add fuel, the fire will respond in kind; I add more fuel, the fire burns brighter and longer.

If I delay the fuel, the fire will die down and eventually go out.

Of course the more fuel i add, unless kept at a bare minimum the bigger the fire grows and more fuel is needed that before for mere sustanence.

Unfortunately, not all fires are good.

Once fire finds an alternate fuel source, what I add becomes relatively irrelevant. Even if i abandon it, the fire will consume its alternate source. At this point, I have lost control. If I decide to add fuel, it does not hrm the fire, but will only burn harder and hotter, quicklly consuming what i have to offer and yielding nothing. There will be a point when eventually the fire will follow the alternate source and abandon me completely.

That is a bad fire. A fire gone wild.

This is how i view relationships. In my mind, an ideal relatinship has many of the same ideals; What i put into it will be recipocated. As I add more, the relationship grows, and so will the amount i need to contribute to sustain the relatinship. Evenytually a happy medium is found, but not until the relationship completely envelops, much like a flame in a stove.

Now I wonder, why is this not the case?

Sure a fire will every once and a while sputer and crackle, but its a trademark of a fire. The glow and warmth and protection offered greatly outweighs those minor crackles and sputters and hisses.

Not so in most relationships.

I only hope my fire will reciprocate and that i have enough fuel to keep it burning bright.

Uncertainty

I feel.... I"m not sure what i feel.

Anxiety?

No, not it.

Frustration?

In a sense, but no not quite.

Apprehension?

I don't know what about.

Fear?

Yes, but from something i can't grasp.

Impatience?

There is no explanation.

Jealousy?

Once again, unfounded.

Joy?

In a bittersweet sense.

Happiness?

Yes, but something else.

Love?

Eternally, but something else invades me.

Confusion?

Yes, because this intangible feeling evades me

What is this tightening inside my chest that drives me?